the epic of mom

My two beautiful Children

kristy richert — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 01:41:49 +0000

Sophia is 2 years 4 months & Eva is 7.5 months. Aren’t they precious

Life with a 3 year old

kristy richert — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 02:06:18 +0000

Someone shared this with me..I couldn’t stop laughing.

A 3-year-old tells all from his mother’s restroom stall. By Shannon Popkin My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we are in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned- 3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It’s always fully cranked. There have been several embarrassing times that I’ve wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco. Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall: ”Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?” At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full … 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity. Cade continued: ”Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren’t you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh … Mommy! I’m trying to see In dere. Oh! I see dem.. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!” I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, ”Why don’t you look in Mommy’s purse and see if you can find some candy. We’ll both have some!” ”No, I’m trying to see doze more stinkies…Oh! Mommy!” He started to gag at this point.. ”Uh – oh, Mommy. I fink I’m gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!” As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall.. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone. ”Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!” He grunted as he tried to pull me off Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. ”Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at? Mommy? You wooking at the wady’s feet?” More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. ”Mommy, it’s time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy.” He started pounding on the door. ”Mommy, don’t you want to wash your hands? I want to go out!!” I saw that my wait ‘em out’ plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud.. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, where’s the fine print on the ‘motherhood contract’ where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I’d sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow. (Shannon Popkin is a freelance writer and mother of three She lives with her family in Grand Rapids , Michigan , where she no longer uses public restrooms)

Eva’s Birth Story

kristy richert — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 02:54:40 +0000

On the 28th of July I had a midwife appointment at which I was given a recipe for a labour-inducing cocktail. Its effectiveness was not a guarantee, especially considering I was still two weeks before my due date. My midwife told me to drink it on Wednesday morning and to continue to take it until I felt something happening. On the next day my chiropractor shifted my pelvis so that the baby would engage more, increasing my chance of going into labour.

When the morning of the 30th came around, I drank the disgusting cocktail and waited. Cramping began around 13:00. However, just the week before I had a mischievous false alarm and I wanted to be sure before making the trip from Chilliwack to Surrey Memorial. I drank the cocktail again around 15:00. Three hours later my contractions started getting fairly regular with intervals of three minutes apart. I continued to wait it out and see whether they would fizzle out like they did the week before – I was still, even with all my proactive attempts to have this baby, two weeks early.

Around 20:30 it hit me that I was going into labour. We didn’t want to drive all the way to Surrey for a false alarm again so we went to Chilliwack General Hospital first. I was immediately checked and told that I was 4cm dilated (as opposed to the 2cm I was the week before) and 60% effaced. They were hesitant about letting me go, but because I did not have a delivering physician in Chilliwack they were relatively easily persuaded in letting me go to Surrey Memorial Hospital (SMH) where my midwife would deliver the baby.

We were on our way to SMH by 21:00, and during the car ride I just wanted to jump out of the car – the pain was excruciating. Brad said he could tell that it was not like the week before. I knew that we weren’t danger of having the baby along the way, I just wanted to make sure I got my epidural – that was the main reason, after all, I was going all the way out to Surrey. We arrived and were upstairs at reception at exactly 22:00 (I think Brad was driving a little faster than normal). We were immediately given a room (all of them are private at SMH); my midwife checked me at 5cm dilation and thin. I was told that the anesthesiologist had just gone to the O.R. and would not be available for a while, so they gave me some N2O to help me with the pain. Being a lightweight, I started cracking up hysterically the moment I put it to my mouth – they said they had never heard a woman laugh so much during labour.

The contractions were becoming progressively closer together and exponentially more painful to the point that I could not let go of the gas. I requested (or demanded?) over and over for the epidural and kept asking when the anesthesiologist was going to get his butt over to my room. By the end of the hour my instincts told me that I was having this baby without my drugs. Just after 23:10 I felt the greatest urge to push and I knew this was happening NOW.

The midwife and nurse were talking amongst each other and trying to sooth me. Brad says that the midwife decided to check how I was doing, but when she lifted the blanket she saw what was going on and they both went into panic mode – they had not expected it to happen this fast. They actually told me to not to push – which I thought, of course, was sort of silly since my body was doing everything non-voluntarily. I cannot describe the burning pain. They had just got everything quickly set up when I let out the biggest blood-curdling scream (which thanks to my husbands video camera I can re-live over and over again). The midwife literally had to catch the little girl as she came flying out. I had pushed only twice. At 23:18, Eva Simone Richert came into this world with a delicate cry. We had arrived at the hospital only one hour and eighteen minutes beforehand. While it had not been my intention, I had my first natural delivery. While the pain was brutal, my body felt back to normal fairly quickly. I had no tearing and no side effects from the drugs to recover from.

Eva Simone Richert
Born July 30, 2008 at 23:18
Surrey Memorial Hospital in Surrey, B.C.
2.79kg (6lbs, 2oz), 50cm (19.7”)

Family beach day

kristy richert — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:15:32 +0000

Brad and I took Sophia to Cultus Lake yesterday. Seeing as how it’s been unbearably hot, I thought that we might as well go somewhere where we can cool off. A day before yesterday I went out to Superstore and bought Sophia a pool so that she has some place to cool off on days like these, it’s not like she is content standing over an air conditioner all day like I am Here are some shots of her enjoying her little red pool…

I just love that face

“mommy it’s cold”

Enjoying time with Grandpa

And here are some shots from our afternoon at the lake. I wish there wasn’t so much duck/goose poo there. Why do kids find poo so interesting? I think it’s quite gross, and as soon as she sees any sort of reaction from me she has to keep touching it over and over again. I have to learn to have a better pocker face. Anyway here is our family day out yesterday.

Swimming with daddy

Swimming with mommy, yap that’s right I wore a bikini

Being bad and running away…

Well that is it for pictures, not like I didn’t have enough I updated my belly pictures as well.

Sorry, sorry, sorry

kristy richert — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:08:28 +0000

I know I know, I always say that I am going to keep up with my blog and I write one post and then neglect it for months at a time. I just find myself getting so lazy by her nap time that I would rather take a nap myself. I can’t write mush today or do any sort of updates as I am getting ready to go to the beach, but here are some recent pictures of Sophia and I have my belly pictures updated..well almost

Big girl underwear… she loves them… yes we are potty training and it’s going fairly well

THE END.

3D ultrasound

kristy richert — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 03:47:01 +0000

Brad and I had our 3D ultrasound which was AMAZING!!! The baby was being so cooperative and I just loved being able to see all the features. This baby looks nothing like Sophie to either of us. Well, I won’t bore you anymore, here are some pictures from our scan…

Oh yah….IT”S A GIRL!!!!!!! I won’t put up any gender shots cause of all the creepy weirdos out there.

Pregnant Bladder

kristy richert — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 19:12:05 +0000

I don’t know if I am noticing it more this time or if I really do go to the bathroom more often, but it is really starting to get on my nerves. The little pregnancy bladder sucks to have. It really is not helping that I have tiny little feet kicking it all night long, but that’s a whole another story. I think I caught the flu a few days ago and I have been feeling pretty miserable. I’ve been trying to be extra careful with Sophie because I really don’t want her getting sick from me. She is a fairly healthy child and really does not get sick. She has only had 2 col in her life time, which I think is very little amount compared to other peoples kids.

It’s really hard to be careful around her as she always wants me to give her kisses and I can’t. It’s so hard to not kiss those puffy little lips when she smacks them together for me. Mmmm, I want to go into her room right now and give her lots of them.

Well as most of you know I had an ultrasound on Thursday and the baby looked great. It was measuring a little big, but I am not surprised as I have been growing a lot recently as well. The tech let me have a little peek at what the baby’s gender may be, but being the inexperienced me I am not so sure what to think. I do however have an appointment this coming Monday to a 3D ultrasound where they’re going to confirm the baby’s gender. I am soooo excited to find out who is going to be joining our family. I will make sure to keep you all updated on what this little one is.

Well now that Sophie is napping I am going to catch a few Zzzz myself

Baby Richert #2

kristy richert — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 02:40:05 +0000

Here are the pictures from the ultrasound that we had today. I got to see the baby’s gender, but due to clinics policy they were not allowed to tell me so I had to guess for myself. I am pretty sure I know what this baby is, but not telling until I get it confirmed by my doctor Here are the pictures of our new addition.

Picture Pleasure

kristy richert — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:29:14 +0000

WOW, every time I look at my blog I realize just how much of a slacker I am. Most times I feel like I have a lot to say, but I don’t want to waste my afternoon writing. I always have so much to do, that by the time I think of sitting down and writing something I am way too tired. So instead of a blog here are some pictures of this past month.

My little French girl

We’ve had a few people ask us if these two were twins…they’re 4 months apart(yes Sophie is older)

Wanted: parents

kristy richert — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 04:55:38 +0000

I got this from one of my parenting forums

PARENT – Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don’t believe any of us would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mother, Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Father, Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

AND A FOOTNOTE ‘THERE IS NO RETIREMENT — EVER!!!