Category Archive

I must admit that I am feeling a bit down right now. I think that my irrationality is getting the best of me. I have been having a very strong desire to have another baby right now even though I know that practically that is not the wisest thing to do. Brad and I are in a very unpredictable phase in our lives it’s really hard to be in a situation where you don’t know that’s going to happen next. We don’t know whether we’re going to stay in BC or go out of province. We don’t know what school he is going to attend or what kind of a job he is going to get. We have no clue how we’re going to pay off all our student debts that we have. We don’t know where we’re going to live or how we’ll manage. It’s tough not knowing what to do. Our primary thing to do right now is to eliminate as much debt as possible. And it’s not even the debt that’s getting us, it’s the interest that we pay on it. I wish that I could just get rid of it, I swear having debt is the biggest burden.

I have been very used to having income coming in. I have had a job since I was 14 years old, and when my doctor told me that I could no longer work due to my pregnancy situation my plan crumbled. Because of that my maternity leave was much lower. Now that Sophia is almost one I no longer get maternity leave money and we’re again at a point where we don’t know what we’re going to do. Because Brad got hurt at work about a month ago he has not been working. Sometimes I feel like things are not going well, but other times it doesn’t worry me all that much. We have a good support system and and that helps us a lot.

As for the baby thing, I have to say that I have been a little upset over it. I know that there is something wrong with my body, I have been feeling it for a little while now, but it’s only recently that I have been able to prove it. For some odd reason when Sophie was born I had a thought that we’re going to go through infertility. It was almost like a reminder to enjoy this baby because it may be a while before the next one comes. I’m not saying that we have infertility issues (we may) but I am obviously unable to get pregnant right now. In a way I know it’s a good thing, but in another way I know what a blessing it is to have a child and I can’t imagine not being able to have another one. Right now worrying is really dumb since we don’t have concrete answers, but I do think that I know my body well an I know when something is not right. It’s a really good thing that our birthday’s and Christmas is coming up, it will help us pay off some debt. I never used to like getting money for my birthday, now it’s nice because it gets us that much closer to being free.

Sorry for the whiny blog, I guess we’re all allowed to have down days.