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The Sunday that we broke up Brad asked me if I wanted to join him for church. It was an awkward drive there and back, the rain didn’t help it either. That evening I made him dinner and we had our break up talk. I won’t get into the reasons why we broke up, and no it was not because he had a hidden attraction to Brent.

Seeing as how we didn’t date for a long time we remained friends. He took me out for my 19th birthday, which is where my sushi addiction began. We still went for walks and movies, so it was almost like we were dating without the dating title or the exclusivity of it.

Eventually we kind of began to resent one another. We were not working out as friends, as we wanted different things. I was in love with a guy that didn’t love me back. Being the stubborn person that I am I decided that I was going to get what I want. The only problem was that I had no patience what so ever, and that caused a lot of hardships that we had to go through in our relationship.

By January 2003 we no longer spoke to each other. We had a big fight and decided that it was best that we didn’t speak. I temporarily began giving up and decided to move on with my oh so pathetic life. I had a lot of guy friends so it was easy to take my mind off him, as long I was around people I didn’t have to think about Brad. It actually worked really well, we both became interested in other people, pseudo dating other people. Of couse Brad being the possessive overprotective guy that he is didn’t like the idea of me being with someone else. This went on for a while: we fought, kissed, fought, made up, fought some more. A vicious cycle that neither of us could break.

Then rolled around summer of 2004. That summer everything changed. We were actually able to be civil towards each other. There wasn’t much fighting, we were getting along? It was a nice change, something that both of us were anticipating for a while. I stopped being clingy, and he stopped being mean. The arrangement was working out well.

At the end of July 2004 everything was turned upside down and we again were not on speaking terms. This time I thought that I was never going to forgive him for what he did ( I won’t say what it was, because it’s not important). I told Brad that it was all over and if he wanted me it had to be all or nothing. I was sick of doing everything half way. That’s what our relationship was all about for the last 2 years, everything half way, lies, deception, and pain. I knew that it had to stop and so did he. If we were ever going to be “WE” again then it had to be fresh.

We had a long talk at one of the parks we used to go to and decided that if we were meant to be it would happen. He gave me one last kiss and we parted ways.

A few days later I received a text message that he was moving to Edmonton. It felt so impersonal, but that’s what I asked for and that’s what I got……

Some pictures from our second year…

the guys he lived with and a bad picture of us

Brent and Leah before they became uncool

That summer Brad sent me a few e-mails for some get togethers, I ignored every one of them. Later when he asked me why I ignored them I told him that it was because I didn’t want any distractions. I was trying very hard to work at the relationship that I had, and I didn’t want him to think about.

Once September rolled around I decided that I would live on campus again (the wedding was planned for the end of April). The funny thing was that the first person that I saw there was agian, Brad. No hand shake this time, I guess he felt that a hug would be more appropriate. We had a little chat, he introduced me to his sister whom was a new student that year, and we both went our ways. This time I was a campus resident and he was a commuter. I honestly didn’t think that we would really see each other all that much.

A few weeks went by and the more I hung out with different people there, the more I wanted to break up with my fiance. It was one particular night that made me realize 100% that I was not going to get married that year. My roommate and I decided to drive out to White Rock and spend the night on the beach. A couple of other people joined us and we went on out way. It was a beautiful night, nothing really happened there, we just hung out and talked. It was a lot of fun, and that made me not want to settle down. I was a month short of my 19th birthday, and I wanted to live my life, not be someones wife. The next day I decided that I was going to break it off, but it was the weekend so I thought I’d wait until Monday. That weekend I threw a big dinner party, I didn’t invite Brad, we weren’t really friends then so I just invited people that I hung out with. After the party I made some lame excuse to why I didn’t want to hang out with my fiance and made him go home. The following Monday he was beginning to realize that something was wrong and instead of asking me about it he just kept buying me presents. I was feeling really guilty for wanting to break it off, so I waited. By the end of the second week I had had enough. I KNEW it had to end. In our counselling class he kept writing me notes asking why I was acting so weird. I kept trying to divert the conversation but he would not let it go. Finally I told him that it was over…. Ironic isn’t it? Counselling class and an engagement break up.

I don’t think I had ever felt to relieved in my life as I did when I gave him the ring back and walked away. It wasn’t a sad moment, it was a good moment, I was free.

About 11 days after that I was sitting in out book store are called the Oasis reading a book, Brad walked by smirking at me. I kept on reading and then he walked by again, I thought it was kind of funny. The he started talking to me, but he wouldn’t sit down, he just stood there. Finally I told him to sit down and that’s where it all began.

We talked for a while and then decided to grab something to eat. That night we drove out to Langley to a park called Coyote Creek and there we decided to date. I remember him playing with my hair and he asked me a really silly question: “You’re not going to hit me if I do this in public are you?” I thought it was cute, and of course I said no.

The next day he came over to see if I wanted to go on a date to Westminster Abby with him. We went on our little date and had a lot of fun, that is also where we discovered that we both a strong dislike for horses.

Our relationship didn’t last a long time though, by the end of our second week we were broken up….

He was a nice boy, a sweet boy- but that was it, he was just a boy. I didn’t want a boy, I wanted a man. Yah sure Brad was only 19 years old, hardly to be considered a man, but he was more of a man then what I had. Seems silly for a 17 year old girl to be asking for a man doesn’t it?

Me being the romantic that I am I decided that it was better for me to stick to what I knew rather then moving onto something new. Two weeks before my 18th birthday I got engaged. Why? To this day I still don’t know what possessed me to want to get married so young. I was engaged to a guy that I wasn’t even sure about, even though if anybody would have asked I would have said that I was SURE.

The first semester was soon over and I had decided that I would move into the dorms for the second part of the year. I felt that if I was going to get married I needed to experince the dorm life before the married life. It was specially exciting as I was moving in with one of my best friends. We sure had a blast. I didn’t see Brad much during that time. Odd, seeing as how we were both living on campus. I honestly didn’t even really think of him anymore. My mind was occupied with other things, and Brad just didn’t matter all that much anymore. He was also interested in another girl (whom by the way blew him off). I say that because he rarely gets turned down by girls, I think she may have been the first one to do that.

The only other time that I remember talking to Brad is in the bookstore area. It was nearing to the end of the semester and I decided to go down there to see if there was anyone that I could hang out with. It was pretty late, but then I saw a group of people and decided to stick around. We played some card games and talked, I had a pretty good time. Around 3:00am-which was way past my bed time, I was just a bit overtired and and ended up saying something kind of dumb. I stretched so that just a bit of my stomach showed and said that I wanted to seduce someone. Seeing as how Brad was the only guy there he knew it was directed at him. I didn’t really mean it, I was just having fun. He later told me that if we had been alone he would have gone for it and kissed me, I don’t know if I would have refused…

At the end of the year Brad threw a big Gala at his grandparents house and that was the last time that I saw him. Next time we would meet would be in September for our second year…..

Here are some pictures from our first year……. The second one is for Leah

Our story is not a fairy tale. Brad was not my Prince Charming. I was not his princess. We didn’t blissfully fall in love. It was a rough road with a lot of mistakes and regrets. But in the end we did make it work and love each other very much. I hope that we have a happily ever after.

It was the first day of orientation at Columbia Bible College. I just got back together with the guy that I had been dating for 1 1/2 years, so my reason for going to CBC was not to find a husband, despite CBC’s alternative name: “Columbia Bridal College” - I guess that’s where you go to find a wholesome “Christian” spouse. We all had to wear name tags so that we could get to know each other. I was not a resident that semester, for some odd reason I decided to commute. Walking through the front yard that connected the girls and boys dorms, holding a hamburger in my hand, I saw a tall skinny guy in a white shirt grinning at me. “Oh you have got to be kidding me,” was all I thought at that moment. I was used to guys staring at me, so he was just another silly little boy trying to find a wife on the first day of bridal college (and yes he was;)); the only difference with him was that he was confident. He didn’t act like a scared little boy afraid to talk to a girl, he knew what he wanted and went for it. His hand shake was firm and his smile genuine. Trying to be as subtle as he could, he introduced himself. Those of you who know Brad know that when he thinks a girl is cute he tilts his head to the right, just a little bit: that little bit gave it all away.

I didn’t notice other guys, I was in a committed relationship, but this one kind of struck me. Just as I was shaking his hand the first thought that went through my head was, “I’m going to marry this guy.” A little shocked at myself for thinking something like that, I quickly sat down and proceeded to eat my burger thinking, “Really, I’m not here to get married.” For some odd reason I couldn’t take my eyes off him. A couple of other people join us for dinner, but even to this day I cannot remember who was all there. Brad and I flirted a little bit and during that dinner conversation I managed to call him gay, liar, and sent him to triple hell. I suppose it was my silly 17 year old way of flirting - I didn’t know any better, I had only been with 1 guy before that.

After that day I tried not to think about him anymore and Brad knew that I was in a relationship and respected that. We ran into each other here and there, but other then that we didn’t talk much. The only recollection that I have of him that year is him stealing my winter gloves. He just wanted a little attention and I wanted to give it to him. He had quickly grabbed them off my desk and I chased him down the hall into the bookstore area. I jumped on his back trying to get them back - it was our second form of physical contact since that handshake months before.

I couldn’t believe myself that after months I couldn’t stop thinking about him. But what could I do? I was still in a relationship, a relationship that I was beginning to question a little.

…more to come tomorrow