Category Archive

I find it funny when people who don’t have children seem to think that being a parent is easy, and that being a stay at home mom is simply an excuse not to go out and get a real job. I know before I became a parent I thought that having a baby was easy. They are small, what on earth could be so difficult about taking care of a child? It’s also interesting to hear people say that their wedding day is the most life changing day of their lives, yet not all that much changes. People tend to focus so much on their wedding day that they forget that the most important day is the day after and the rest of the days to follow. I don’t mean to bring the value of a marriage down by saying that not much changes, I simply meant that you become husband and wife and after the honeymoon life goes back to being normal. You both have to go to work, you no longer run around like a crazy woman making sure all the details are taken care of. Being married is great, but I do not see it as being a life changing thing. When Brad and I got married it was exciting and thrilling, but neither of us felt that anything had changed. We still loved each other the same, still ate our meals together, only now we lived together instead of being in separate houses. It wasn’t until Sophia entered our lives that everything changed. I think that is why we didn’t want to have a wedding. Neither of us believed that the wedding day is the most important day of our lives, we believed that the days to follow that were the most important. Being with each other mattered more than having a “perfect wedding.”

Anyway, I just thought it is funny to hear people put such high value on their wedding days instead of putting it into their marriage. Once you have a child is when the realization of that most important huge day sinks in. It is when you bring a life into the world you realize what matters most and what is considered a HUGE thing.

I know for me what I dislike the most is when people feel “sorry” for us because we became parents so quickly. Yes she was a surprise, but I would NEVER EVER change that. It’s almost like they devalue our child’s life by asking whether she was a wanted baby. I guess I don’t understand people whom say that they do not wish to have children and even refuse to hold a baby. I have had someone say to me that its selfish to have children, I think it’s selfish to make such a statement. It is not until you become a parent that you know what real love really means. It’s not until then that you become selfless and realize that it is no longer about you. It is not until then that you really grow up.

So in conclusion, if you don’t have kids don’t speak about things you know so little about.

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We took some pictures of Sophie in her monkey suit that I will put up a bit later

Sometimes when I put Sophia to bed I just st by her crib and watch her sleep. She always looks so peaceful and innocent, it’s so precious. A little while ago Brad and I went to a park with Sophia and we were watching other kids playing and running around. I love seeing the innocence in children, the world hasn’t gotten the best of them yet. They have no perception of worrying about paying the bills, putting food on the table, they just enjoy life. They haven’t experienced hatred, betrayal, disloyalty. They have no inhibitions to walk up to another child and make a friend on the spot. How wonderful would the world be if we all had the forgiveness and the innocence of a child. It’s so sad that we all lose it, you cannot live in this world like a child.

You can see the innocence fading in the older kids that were at the park. You can tell that something is different, that they had experienced pain. I don’t really the turning point, but it’s there and you can see it in their eyes. I wish I could keep Sophia safe from pain, that she would always be happy. I know that is every parents dream, yet none of us are able to fulfill it. I have even heard some people say that having children and bringing them up in this world is a selfish act. I see how some would think that, but I believe you must be fairly broken to really feel that way. To me being a mom is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened. I believe that I didn’t know what truly loving someone meant until I had Sophie. It’s not something that you can describe, it’s something that is just there and you don’t know where it came from.

I have such a hard time hearing stories about child abuse, and murder. I don’t understand how anyone can hurt something so helpless and beautiful. How people can hurt kids that cannot defend themselves, how they can kill their children and claim that they’re better off that way and then be found not guilty. How can someone not live their child?

I always liked being around kids, but I don’t think I ever realized how precious childhood is until I had one of my own. My heart goes out to the kids that don’t have parents, the one’s that have no one to love and care for them. I could imagine how heartbreaking it would be to work in an orphanage. Kids don’t need much, all they want is for someone to love them. I see how much stuff Sophia has, but in the end I know she would be just as much of a happy baby is she had none of those things. She has a family that loves her more than life. I don’t understand why we as adults are so obsessed with stuff, why we think that the more we have the happier we will be. I am one of those. I want a house and a couple of cars, and money, In the end the things that make me happiest are the morning smiles that Sophie gives me, watching her play with her toys, her excitement to see me. Nothing will ever beat that.

I wish that no child would have to go through heart break. I wish that every child would have a childhood will with happiness. If only everyone could experience the joy of being a kid, this world would be a much better place. If i had only 1 wish I would wish that every kid would have unconditional love.

Yesterday my mom and dad went to Toys “R” Us to find some good toys for Sophia. We have a lot of stuffed animals and newborn rattle kind of stuff, but she is getting older and more interested in toys so we figured now is a good time to go and get some fun things for her. When we got to the mall Sophie had fallen asleep in my sling which I love when she does because then she is not cranky and tired all afternoon. We passed a couple of dads with their kids and one of the guys made a comment that my way is the best time to go shopping- when the kids are asleep. I thought that was a little funny, I guess that way the kids don’t bother you.

Anyway, back to Sophia’s toy shopping. We got her some educational toys and this and that, but I thought that it would be nice to get her a baby doll. Every little girl has to have her first baby doll. I found this cute little baby girl doll for her and we went ahead and bought it. Once I took it out of the box she immediately grabbed it and went straight for the soother that the doll had in her mouth. It was really funny to see her try and put that soother in her mouth. All it is is a little nub in the end, and yet she spent a lot of time trying to get that thing in her mouth. My little paci-a-holic. Once she figured out that she cannot suck on that paci she gave up and moved onto sucking on her foot or hand, whatever was closer to her mouth. I think she is about to cut another tooth. I find that a bit seeing as how she doesn’t have any top teeth yet, aren’t those supposed to come after the first bottom one’s?

She proudly carried her baby doll for the rest of our mall trip and if I tried taking it away she would squeeze it as tightly as she could. My baby has a little dolly, how cute is that.

Now I am going t vent about my two dumb and annoying cats. Since we had Sophie obviously they don’t get half as much attention as they normally do, so they try and get it another way. During the day they are nice and quiet, but once we go to bed all the noise comes out. There’s chasing, meowing, knocking things over, walking all over us, scratching on Sophia’s door. Seriously, sometimes I just want to knock their heads together so that they would be quiet and I could get some sleep. Obviously I wouldn’t do that, but it has sure made me seriously consider getting rid of them. I love my kitty’s, but I want sanity more. Last night Twiggles managed to climb into my drawer and make it fall apart- at 3 AM!!!!!! Anyone want free cats?

Sophia’s Toy Box Car

Picture for now, blog later. She won’t let me write right now.

My dad took Sophia swimming for the afternoon, so I get about an hour to myself to do whatever I want. Of course I pick to blog since it’s the laziest activity that I can think of. I like sitting on my couch, it makes me happy. I remember when Brad and I got married we had this old gray/black futon in our living room that we used to pull all nighters and watch movies on, and once I got pregnant I realized just how uncomfortable that thing really was. We then went out and bought a couch that I am currently sitting on. I don’t really know where that came from.

Today I have been reminiscing a lot, and thinking about how quickly time is flying by. At this time last year I was in my 3rd trimester wishing that the pregnancy would be over soon, and now my baby is 9 months old. I can’t believe how much she has changed and grown. I now know what people meant when they said that kids grow up fast.

Sophia is cutting another tooth or two. She has had her two bottom ones for 2 months and yesterday I discovered that the other 2 bottom ones  were coming in as well. I expected the top teeth to be next, and maybe they’re coming in as well, but I will not risk and put my fingers in that mouth. You put them in and you lose them. Her teeth are so sharp that sometimes it even scares me to put food in her mouth.

Onto another note, Brad and I bought the third season of House today and I am really excited to watch it. Since last year Brad had a class Tuesday nights we didn’t get to see house, so now that it’s out I bet we will watch it in a weeks time. I have a week spot when it comes to House, I love that show. I guess I should take advantage of the hour that I have while Sophia is gone and watch the first episode. Ok, time to go…..

This summer is going by so fast. i can’t believe that my baby is already 8 months old. I swear I still remember the day that I brought her from the hospital like it was yesterday. I know it wasn’t that long ago, but it doesn’t feel like 8 months ago. Sophia has been doing really well recently. I finally got her to the point where she no longer wakes up at night. I got really sick of her waking up at night and looking for her soother, so I just let her cry it out one night and she has been an angel sleeper ever since. She didn’t even cry that long, but now even if she does wake up in the middle of the night she puts herself back to sleep without a peep. I love feeling rested. Ahhhh, no more night feedings, such a good feeling.

Today we’re going to take Sophie to the lake , and then later on in the afternoon she has her 8 month check up. I’m looking forward to seeing how much she has grown in the last month. It seems like she is getting bigger by the minute. The othey day I was looking at her newborn pictures and I blown away by how much she has changed. Even seeing a newborn baby I swear that Sophie was never that small, but I now that she was even smaller than then average newborn baby. I almost miss that stage, but not really. I like the sleeping through the might stage better.

She still refuses to crawl and wants nothing to do with being on all fours. Every time that I put her in that position she just cries and whines until I pick her up or she rolls over. She is trying to scoot backwards on her bum, but even that is not working out too well. She is all about the walking. She can actually run, I get tired out before she does. Ahhh the energy of a child, I only I could have it. Maybe I should go for some runs and get in shape so that I will be able to keep up with her.

Well I guess I should go get her diaper bag ready so that we can head out when she wakes up. Here are some comparison pictures. Enjoy .

8 month old

1 day old

Today Sophie had her very first play date. A little while ago I blogged about how I felt that I no longer had anything in common with my friends whom don’t have children, and how being a stay at home mom can get very lonely. Well, since the wonderful world of facebook I have reconnected with some people that I had not seen in some time. The last time that I saw Kim was on our graduation day back in 2001. So yah, 6 years, but it was very comfortable and I had a lot of time catching up. She also has a little girl, Haylee, she’s about 6 weeks older then Sophia, but it’s not too big of a gap so it was nice.

We were supposed to get together with one other girl that we went to high school with, but we couldn’t get a hold of her and hoping that everything is ok. Maybe another time all of will get to go out. I was being a bit of an air head when I headed out this morning and forgot to take my camera with me, so I guess I won’t have any pictures from Sophie’s first play date. oh well, she will have many more to come. I’m looking forward to hanging out with her and our kids playing together. That’s it, that’s what we did today. Yay for a fun day !!!

I never thought that  would see my 7 month old baby have tantrums. I always thought that the tantrum stage starts around the age of 2, oh boy was I wrong. I don’t know if they will start full blown or if she is just acting out randomly, but I do know that it has began. Yesterday I was offering her some food and she starting swinging her arms back and fourth and making really loud screeching noises. Of course the food went flying up in the air and landed on top of her, and that just made her more angry. I wish I knew why she is throwing fits like that. I’m pretty sure that at this age she is unable to rationalize and try to manipulate us, there is no way that she is doing that. And I know that at this age she won’t understand “NO.” I thought that I would have a lot more time than 7 months..ahahah.

I’m in the process of reading Positive Discipline, as I in no way believe in hitting, pinching, flicking, or smacking a child. Not that I would even consider something like that at this age, but I figures that once the toddler years approach I want to have some sort of a clue what I will be up against. I just know that I am completely against spanking children, to me it’s just plain child abuse I don’t care what peoples reasons are. I think we as parents have a responsibility to teach our children right from wrong and how to deal with their emotions, not smack it into them. It always made me so mad seeing a parent hit their kid and say “don’t you hit your brother,” how hypocritical is that? I guess I just don’t get it how someone can inflict pain on their precious little child. I know that I could never do something like that.

Anyway, I don’t really know why I ranted about that, I just felt I needed to say that. Back to Sophie’s fits. I think that she flips out because she is unable to do the things that she wants to do. What I mean by that, is when she sees a cat walk by  she wants to touch it but she can’t reach the cat. I can see her legs going, but she is just not strong enough to chase the kitty, so instead she just screams in frustration. I have seen her do that on daily account for a couple of weeks now. Yesterdays food throwing was a new one for me. I guess when you have two temperamental parents you’re bound to be the same, the poor kid had no hope

So if you have any suggestion on what I can do to help her at this age I would love to hear them. I guess the biggest thing that I can do is distract her with something else. I just don’t want her always feeling frustrated, and it seems like lately that has been the majority of her days. She is a happy little girl, when she has what she wants.

Yesterday my mom, dad, Sophia, Brad and I ventured out to Metro-town. I really wanted to go shopping and we thought that it would be a lot of fun if we went out to a big mall. I find that these little town malls are not that great, and half the time I can’t fin what I need in them anyway. I’m a terrible shopper as it is, so only being able to shop in small places makes my end goal that much harder to reach. I like getting stuff, it’s the looking for it part that sucks. So anyway, we got into our little car and went out to Burnaby. I was very pleasantly surprised at how well she handled the shopping trip. She had a great big nap before we left and a little one while we were in the mall, other then that she was all smiles and giggles.

When my mom and I were looking for stuff at Jacob, Brad and my dad took Sophia to the Disney store. They showed her a bunch of little toys, but she didn’t seem interested in them, until the saw a little Dalmatian’s puppy called Snoopy. She was all over that little dog, giggling and slobbering all over him. Of course my dad bought the little puppy for her, and she was playing with it for the remainder of the time there. By the time that we got out of the mall and into the car the little dog was sopping wet with her oh so plentiful drool. I actually sat on the dog and my bum was all wet.

Another fun that happened was that Sophie made a friend. There was this little girl walking around the store with her dad while her mom tried on some clothes. Sophie just loved that little girl. She was squealing and laughing like crazy. They were entertaining each other back and fourth. The little girl just lived the attention that she was getting from Sophie, and Sophie thought it was the greatest thing that the little girl was doing little dances for her. It was so precious to watch.

So overall we had a good and successful trip and got lots of stuff. I needed summer clothes really bad, and got some nice things. I still need to get a few more things (my shirts are too tight ), but other than that I got what I needed.

I’ll post some pictures from our trip when I upload them.

I got some of these from my parenting forum, and I thought it would be funny to share. Feel free to add and I will post it here.

• YOU KNOW YOU’RE A MOM AND SLEEP DEPRIVED WHEN…
• sleep is the only think that you can think, obsess and dream about.
• you think you’re going crazy when you hear screaming even when it’s dead silent in the house.
• 7 am is considered sleeping in
• you get excited when you see a poopy diaper
• you become a complete airhead- there are days you’re surprised you are able to dress yourself (and haven’t gotten into a car accident!).
  
• that even months after you’ve had the baby you’re still shedding like a lab
• you drive to work and don’t remember the drive
• you are talking to someone and forget what you are saying right in the middle of your conversation
• you’ve heard crying too and jumped up and ran in the nursery only to find your kid sound asleep
• you are pumping for milk for the next day and you fall asleep for an hour sitting up in the chair
• you put the car keys on the side of the car seat while you strap your kid in and then spend 10 minutes trying to find your keys.
• you’re not quite sure if it’s avocado smeared on your pants from toddler hands or if it’s poo from the newborn…
  
• going to the bathroom alone is a luxury.
• you start prepping dinner when you get up in the morning and work on it here and there throughout the day.
• you have no idea what is going on in the world but can name 20 different kinds of dinosaurs and/or digging equipment.
• when you start losing your big people vocabulary
• when you find rocks in your gym bag and know exactly when they were put there and that you’ll be in BIIIIIG trouble if you get rid of them.
• you think nothing of eating the soggy remains of an ice cream cone left by your son, when 5 years ago the very idea would gross you out.
• you find yourself saying things like, “Jackson, no eating your shoes!!!” or “Mommy’s going pee-pee. Do you want to come with?”
• when you are getting out of the car and check to make sure you have your keys 3 times because you don’t remember checking the 1st time.
  
• when you are talking to your child from the bathroom so they won’t start crying.
• you do silly dances while cooking to entertain your 4 month old.
  
• when it’s no longer about you anymore
• when you give in and let your son get a dog and you ARE NOT an animal lover. (I’ve totally lost my mind)

I have been feeling really frustrated lately. I think life feels like it’s moving very slow right now. I love the fact that I get to be a stay at home mom and take care of my precious little girl, but at the same time I feel so useless. I know that taking care of Sophie is a job in itself, but I wish that I could contribute financially. And I could if I did some sort of work from home thing, but the problem with that is the government won’t let me. It seems really dumb that we as moms only get a partial amount from our wage for maternity leave, and when we want to make more money then it’s taken out of that maternity leave money. I don’t know how single mothers deal with that. A woman who is a stay at home mom is only allowed to make $200 max a month on top of the maternity leave. It just really makes me angry, how are people supposed to survive on that?  And even if a woman chooses to go back to work, daycare itself takes a good chunk out of your wage anyway. No wonder people are having less and less kids now a days. No one can afford to have many children.

Anyway, I feel frustrated because I don’t like not having stability or a plan. I want to be there for my child and raise her, but at the same time I feel so tied down to the house. I have to be here most of the day because she needs to have her naps, and most of my friends don’t have kids so it’s really hard to relate to them anymore. I don’t like the idea of putting my child in day care, I don’t like that idea that someone would be raising my kid just so that I can have money. I would rather have less money then have less time with Sophie,  but I need a plan. I need to join some sort of a playgroup or a club, because sitting at home is starting to really get to me. I wish I had more friends with kids that I could hang out with.

Well, now that I have had my rant I will go. I don’t want to be all pitiful, because in the end I know that I very blessed to be able to stay at home, I just wish it wasn’t so lonely sometimes.

Sophia and Daddy

I don’t know what has gotten into this child recently, she is sooo incredibly whiny. She woke up at 6 am this morning, talk about getting up earlier each morning. I do not like mornings, not at all. Yap we had another horrible night and today she was in the worst mood ever. Nothing was pleasing this child. We went out to Abbotsford to ABC restaurant for brunch. Grandma and Grandpa Richert don’t get to see Sophie much seeing as how they don’t live in the Fraser Valley. I was hoping that she would be able to have fun with them, but nooooo, she just whined and complained the whole time. Normally she is very good when it comes to taking her out in public, she usually hardly makes a beep, but today it was a whole new story. I fed her, gave her some finger foods, toys, soother, NOTHING worked. When we got home I thought that maybe she needs a nap but when I tried putting her down she started giggling. Then 10 min later she was back to crying and finally went down for a nappy. 1/2 hour later she was up to whine some more. Little stinker couldn’t figure out  what it is that she wanted. I tried taking her for a walk which she usually loves, but again, more whining. Nap #2 lasted 10 min, and now she is asleep. It’s been 17 min, so we’ll see what happens in the next 15 min or so. I hope she just goes down for the night, I don’t think I can handle anymore whining or screaming today.

I tried checking her teeth, but they’re pretty far down, so I don’t know if that is the cause, and ear infection is already ruled out. Ahhhhh, need some help here. I wish I coud speak baby and know what it is that she wants.

Oh, and another thing that happened today… I think she may be trying to see if she can manipulate mommy. She was happily playing with her jungle gym and as soon as I was walked into the room there was high pitch screeching. Hmmm, so I tried walking in and out 3 more times, and yes she would screech every time that I walked back in. I didn’t know they could do that so young. Weirdo child.

Sophia and Mommy shadow 

Today Sophie decided that it was a good idea to wake up at 6:45 am. WTH is up with that? Mommy is not a morning person, so anything before 8 am is considered WAY too early. Yap, she’s happily playing in her exersaucer. Ahhhh to be a baby again. I wish I could remember and appreciate that age. I think that she is finally getting the hang of sitting unassisted, but then she gets all excited and topples over. Watching babies learn new things is quite cute.

Yesterday we took her to the park..again..and took some nice pictures. I think it’s called “the Salish Park,” the one by the library in Chilliwack. It’s very pretty there, but the only problem is that ot’s gotten to be very dirty. I guess it’s the new hang out spot for teens these days. Who would’ve thought that a library would be “the place” to hang.

Here are some pictures from that park..isn’t is beautiful?

It’s really amazing to look at Sophie and see how much she has changed in the last 6 months. I remember looking at her when we brought her home from the hospital, she was so tiny and could barely hold her head up. Now she is almost triple her birth weight (at her last appointment she was 14lbs 15oz) and has grown 6 inches. On top of that, she is able to roll around, giggle, hold things, chew, almost sit up, make little steps, and hold herself up. I can’t believe how much a little baby can learn in 6 months. It may not seem like a huge deal for most people, but imagine not being able to do anything and in 6 months be able to do all of that. I think it’s a huge development, and I can’t believe how big she is getting.

When I was pregnant my mom said that the first 6 months are all about being tired and working non- stop, but after that the baby gets more active and more fun. I now agree with her. She is very amuzing to watch, and so much fun to play with. Seeing how she responds to things, and tries to learn different things each day, makes my day all that much better.

I fed her some pears for lunch today, and she liked them so much that the was making the mmm yum-yum sounds. It was so precious, I’m so happy that she enjoys food. From what I have been told by my parents, I was a terrible eater, so I am very happy that she is a good eater. She even got to go to WhiteSpot with us today and sit in a high chair like a big girl. Might I mention that she was eyeing the liquor menu, and then slobbered all over it when I gave it to her to play with. I told her she had to wait a few years for that one.

On a side note: brad and I are almost all settled in( as much as we can be) and are now looking for a place where we can actually settle. We have taken a few trips out to Langley and saw some really nice land developments. We’re hoping that he will find a good job soon and that we can get our own place, I just have to be patient for now.

Sophie is sleeping like an angel so I guess I will go and relax as well.

Sophia grabbing the paper at Tim Hortons

So we went for a stroll

Through the library park

We saw some fun baby birds

I was frowning the whole time and had no idea why

Then we got to grandpa’s shop and I saw a monkey that he made

Daddy helped me go inside it

Can you see me through the eye???

It was a fun day, don’t you wish you could be me?

I think that I am officially going to start Sophia on solids. She has gotten some here and there, but not on regular basis. Lately she has been getting very upset if I eat in front of her and don’t give her any. I figures that is a sign of readiness. It’s actually quite cute how she wants to stick ALL food in her mouth.

So in-light of me starting her on solids I have decided to make my own homemade baby food. I bought “Super Baby Food” book and bought a bunch of fruit/vegetables to make. It was very fun pureeing all that food. I have 30 cubes stored in my freezer. She has carrots, pears, mango, banana, avocado, yams, squash, and prunes. Prunes keep her regular ;).

Onto another note, Brad and I went out to Langley today to get our cell phone #’s changed, but apparently you can no, longer get numbers from different provinces changed in their stores. How useless is that? We have to call from a land line to do that. I thought it was very silly, so I guess we’ll have to do that.

Unpacking is going slow, but I don’t care, I’m having fun.

Sophia and Brad’s cousin Allison

P.S. Sophia is back to her normal sleeping habits. I guess she was just having an off night.

Sophie has found her new favorite song. She gets the biggest smile on her face when she hears “Old MacDonald”, but her all time favorite part is the “Ee i ee i oh” part, that’s when the big grins come out.

When she was a newborn I didn’t really know any kids songs, so I sang her the Beatles song-So Happy Together. I don’t really know why, but that was the first one that came to my head. She loved it when I sang to her, and let me tell you…I CANNOT sing. I’ve always wanted to be able to, but I just don’t have the voice. It’s a good thing that babies don’t care how their mommies sound. Anyway, the Beatles song is the song that she gets before bedtime, like a cue that it’s time to go to sleep. We have a bedtime ritual that is the same every night, that way she knows what’s coming next and doesn’t protest going to sleep. We have play time, bath, swaddle, feed with song, and then lights out. It took a little while to get into routine, but since we started that when she was a newborn, now she is very easy to put to bed.

Well since her bedtime song is just for bedtime, I thought that it would be fun to sing some kid songs to her during the day. She doesn’t seem to care for any but the Old Macdonald one. I don’t know what it is about that song, but obviously something that she really enjoys. And seeing as how she’s not a cuddly baby, that is the only way that I can get cuddles. She loves it, and giggles when we cuddle and sing.

Yesterday she was having some tummy time on the floor, and I decided to sing her that song and managed to get the huge smile on camera. Hope you all enjoy the big smiles. As Brad said the other day “babies are the living proof that smiling is easier then frowning.”

Have a great day everyone

Note the drool on the chin…

Yesterday I was waiting for Sophie to wake up from her nap to write a new post, but she kept sleeing and sleeping, and as soon as I opened up my computer she woke up. You’d think that after a 2 1/2 hour nap she would be happy, but no, there were crankies up the ying yang. So after all that I decided that instead of a blog I would take a nap. I like naps, they make me happy.

In one of my previous posts I talked about Sophie being obsessed with standing, so this is a follow up of that. I couldn’t hold her up all the time, so Brad and I decided that maybe we should get her an exersaucer. I wasn’t sure if she would like it, since she pays no attention to her boucer. Most babies get excited and jump in those, not mine, she just sits and stares at me. I went to Toys “R” Us and picked one up for her hoping that I didn’t waste a bunch of money for nothing. At first she looked at me with that blank stare, “what is this thing you put me in?” But after a little while she figured the whole thing out. When the exersaucer is rocked it plays music, didn’t take her long to figure that one out, and oh my does she get excited about that. Today she learned that the chair twists and she dosn’t just ahve to stare at one toy.

I am sooooo glad that I got it for her, now My hands are free and I can actually get some things done around the house.

Onto another note, Brad found out that we are able to move next month so I am not in the process of going through our stuff and trying to organize and pack. i’m so excited to come back home. Ahhhh no more Lakeless Edmonton summers…More on that later, monkey has to go take a nap.

I have a picture of her in the exersaucer, but I can’t find the USB cord to download them. Check back later, I’ll have it up sometime today.

I Love Looking At Myself !!!

What IS This???

Anna Quindlen, Newsweek Columnist and Author

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraidof disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, except through the unreliable haze of the past.
Everything in all the books I once poured over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education,all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are,they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me,finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations –what they taught me, was that they couldn’t really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.
When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.
I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton’s wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet,and active. I was looking f or a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China . Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the, “Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame.” The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover.
The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, “What did you get wrong?”. (She insisted I include that.)
The time I ordered food at the McDonald’s drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?
But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night.

I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the get ting it done a little less. Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t, what was me and what was simply life.

When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity. That’s what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

I must say that the last couple of nights have NOT been fun. Sophia has all of a sudden decided that sleep was overrated. I am so incredibly tired that my eyes are burning, and on the scale of tiredness that is the top kind. I don’t really know what’s causing this. She goes down fairly easily and sleeps great until 11:30-12:00am, and then all hell breaks loose. I will feed her and she does not want to go back to sleep. Two nights ago she was up all the way til 5:30AM!!! And last night she fell back asleep until 2:40, then was up every 1/2 hours til 7:45 when I went in and got her out of bed. What is up with her??? Ahhh, this is driving me CRAZY!!! I do not function well without sleep, and the worst part is I don’t know what to do about it. When I go in to check on her I know that she is fine, all she wants to do is play. There are huge smiles and giggles when I walk in, and as soon as I leave the water works begin. Seriously, is this just a 4 months stage? I thought sleep is supposed to be getting better, not worse. She used to sleep 10-12 hour stretches, feed, and then sleep another 4 or so. I was seriously in heaven then, until I took a trip to hell the last couple nights. Can you tell I’m going crazy?

A vacation is needed here. I’m going to stop now before I stick my foot in my mouth..

Here’s some Sophie cuteness, so this post doesn’t seem so bad

Edmonton weather is weird. For the last couple of days it has been so nice and warm, and the snow was actually melting. I was very excited to be able to take Sophie out for a walk in her stroller. But, here it is, snowing AGAIN. When we woke up this morning it was cloudless and sunny, and now it’s back to the mean winter look. Oh well, maybe tomorrow it will be nice again.

Our house is right across the street from an elementary school, and I love watching all the kids coming out to play for their lunch break. There’s something really cute about little kids and fascination with snow. Makes me think back to when I was a kid - I LOVED snow. There were times when I would play to the point of being soaked from the snow, and then getting sick, but it was all worth it!!!

It’s amazing how when you’re a child all you want to do is grow up, but now that I look out my window and see the energy and innocence that those kids have, I wonder why I was so eager to grow up. I guess from a kid’s perspective an adult can do anything that they want, but as an adult we recognize and appreciate the beauty of childhood. I’m so excited for Sophie to go out, play, and enjoy being a kid.

Well now that we’ve gone from a rant about bad weather, to reminiscing about childhood. Sophis is being a huge crank pot so I have to finish here… Good day to everyone…

Walking through the schoolyard…