I find it funny when people who don’t have children seem to think that being a parent is easy, and that being a stay at home mom is simply an excuse not to go out and get a real job. I know before I became a parent I thought that having a baby was easy. They are small, what on earth could be so difficult about taking care of a child? It’s also interesting to hear people say that their wedding day is the most life changing day of their lives, yet not all that much changes. People tend to focus so much on their wedding day that they forget that the most important day is the day after and the rest of the days to follow. I don’t mean to bring the value of a marriage down by saying that not much changes, I simply meant that you become husband and wife and after the honeymoon life goes back to being normal. You both have to go to work, you no longer run around like a crazy woman making sure all the details are taken care of. Being married is great, but I do not see it as being a life changing thing. When Brad and I got married it was exciting and thrilling, but neither of us felt that anything had changed. We still loved each other the same, still ate our meals together, only now we lived together instead of being in separate houses. It wasn’t until Sophia entered our lives that everything changed. I think that is why we didn’t want to have a wedding. Neither of us believed that the wedding day is the most important day of our lives, we believed that the days to follow that were the most important. Being with each other mattered more than having a “perfect wedding.”
Anyway, I just thought it is funny to hear people put such high value on their wedding days instead of putting it into their marriage. Once you have a child is when the realization of that most important huge day sinks in. It is when you bring a life into the world you realize what matters most and what is considered a HUGE thing.
I know for me what I dislike the most is when people feel “sorry” for us because we became parents so quickly. Yes she was a surprise, but I would NEVER EVER change that. It’s almost like they devalue our child’s life by asking whether she was a wanted baby. I guess I don’t understand people whom say that they do not wish to have children and even refuse to hold a baby. I have had someone say to me that its selfish to have children, I think it’s selfish to make such a statement. It is not until you become a parent that you know what real love really means. It’s not until then that you become selfless and realize that it is no longer about you. It is not until then that you really grow up.
So in conclusion, if you don’t have kids don’t speak about things you know so little about.
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We took some pictures of Sophie in her monkey suit that I will put up a bit later

5 comments
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October 5, 2007 at 1:11 pm
blessed1
Amen sista! I completely agree! I just posted something today similar to this…except I didn’t touch on how singleton’s or un-parents think they’re smarter than us. That’s a blog in itself!
Great post!!!
October 5, 2007 at 3:40 pm
Lucy
in who’s mind such a statement can be born?
How again giving your time, efforts, love to the helpless one
can be considered selfish?
Parenting cures a lot of people from selfishness, makes them sacrificial, not making them selfish.
And about little Sophie – she may not be planned at THAT time,
but she sure was welcome from the first moment you and us learned about her.
October 5, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Sara
That was very well said! I agree with you so much on that, if people don’t want children that’s there own business and is completely alright, but it’s not their right to state otherwise and that it’s easy. You don’t know until you’ve truly done it. And you really (no matter what ANYONE says) you honestly don’t know was real love is until you have a child. You can love your family and your husband/wife, but to have a child is the most joyous amazing thing (for me anyways) I thought before that I never wanted children (knowing that it was hard and thinking I couldn’t do it) but when we had Arianna it was the most presious gift I’d ever been given!
October 6, 2007 at 9:59 am
kristy richert
Oh I agree. When I was in high school I didn’t want kids either, now I couldn’t imagine not wanting and having them. I just really don’t like it when people speak about things they know nothing about
October 7, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Abbie
All I can say is amen and ditto!