I have been feeling really frustrated lately. I think life feels like it’s moving very slow right now. I love the fact that I get to be a stay at home mom and take care of my precious little girl, but at the same time I feel so useless. I know that taking care of Sophie is a job in itself, but I wish that I could contribute financially. And I could if I did some sort of work from home thing, but the problem with that is the government won’t let me. It seems really dumb that we as moms only get a partial amount from our wage for maternity leave, and when we want to make more money then it’s taken out of that maternity leave money. I don’t know how single mothers deal with that. A woman who is a stay at home mom is only allowed to make $200 max a month on top of the maternity leave. It just really makes me angry, how are people supposed to survive on that? And even if a woman chooses to go back to work, daycare itself takes a good chunk out of your wage anyway. No wonder people are having less and less kids now a days. No one can afford to have many children.
Anyway, I feel frustrated because I don’t like not having stability or a plan. I want to be there for my child and raise her, but at the same time I feel so tied down to the house. I have to be here most of the day because she needs to have her naps, and most of my friends don’t have kids so it’s really hard to relate to them anymore. I don’t like the idea of putting my child in day care, I don’t like that idea that someone would be raising my kid just so that I can have money. I would rather have less money then have less time with Sophie, but I need a plan. I need to join some sort of a playgroup or a club, because sitting at home is starting to really get to me. I wish I had more friends with kids that I could hang out with.
Well, now that I have had my rant I will go. I don’t want to be all pitiful, because in the end I know that I very blessed to be able to stay at home, I just wish it wasn’t so lonely sometimes.
Sophia and Daddy
5 comments
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June 1, 2007 at 9:16 am
reformattingmybrain
Ah hon, I feel you on this one
It’s so hard. I’m at home everyday working full time for a company in another state. I’m cooped up in my basement office at my desk all day (and sometimes long nights). What I wouldn’t give for some adult conversation sometimes. I’ll soon have baby at home and be working full time still – THIS is going to be interesting. While I know I’ll love being able to stay home and save money on daycare and gas I get VERY lonely being home all the time. I have little bouts of depression often because of it. Guess we can’t have the best of both worlds. Hang in there hon – your job of being a stay at home Mom is an amazing job and the hardest job. What your contributing is something money can’t contribute. I wish our town had playgroups and stuff like that – huge drawback to living in our tiny town. Hope you find something – Good Luck hon! Chin up girl!!
June 4, 2007 at 9:13 am
Kait
You should be able to find a playgroup in your town/city, even if you join the Y there (I assume there is a YMCA or whatever there). I hope you’re able to find some support and some fellow “mom” time. I understand how important that can be (even though I’m not at that stage myself). ::hugs::
June 5, 2007 at 3:28 pm
pregnantexec
Get a plan and get yourself back to work. It is not about money…it is about managing depression and sanity Work provides you with so much more than just a paycheck. Work keeps you focused on your own identity. Work gives you time to interact with other adults in sometimes stimulating conversation and problem solving that does not revolve around the topic of children. Children, yes, even babies, need to be socialized with other children to become well rounded young people who share, learn, laugh, interact and play. Many mothers, not all, but many mothers need to be with other adults, sans baby, to maintain their sense of self and to be able to provide more quality interaction with their children. Study, after study, after study suggests that it is UNHEALTHY for new mothers to spend 100% of their time with their children. I suggest you read The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up Too Much by Leslie Bennetts, get a life coach, find a mother’s day out program at one of your local churches where you and your baby can learn to spend time apart and start feeling a little more productive. You will feel tons better! http://www.expectingexecutive.com
August 6, 2007 at 1:02 am
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August 23, 2007 at 3:11 pm
Pamela
Well i am also a very tired mother of 4. I have a 1,2,10,& 13 year old, so i know all too well how tiring it is being a mom. I am also so alone so often, but i just say to myself, someday i will be able to have more “ME” time!!! AFTER i raise my babies FIRST though.